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Hmmm…arrived at my new gate…B20…but there is no plane.

Note to United: “Psssst. We need a plane.”

Heh, well, now our tape mechanics have reached the end of their shift. So we are waiting for the next mechanics shift to arrive to finish taping.

Oh wait…now we are de-planing…to try and find a new plane.

So…it gets better. Still sitting in Denver. Our flight attendants "timed out" and they had to find a replacement crew here in Denver.

Another friendly note for United: "I suggest that you NOT feed your crew hot meals with aromas that fill the plane, when your loyal customers only get Snack Boxes. Have a lovely day."

By the way…the man with the tape showed up! Although they just added another 30-min delay.

Note to self: "Never fly anywhere that requires a connection. Oh, and remind Mom and Dad to move to a United hub city."

No sooner had I pressed send on my last blog update, when the captain came on to announce a further 30-min delay. It seems that maintenance is using tape to secure some loose bits of exterior fiberglass that are "peeling off".

Note to United's stockholders: "Good news. Cost cutting measures are a success. Passengers are now used to hunger…and the mechanics have stopped complaining about using tape to hold the plane together. Consider having the crew act out popular stories rather than paying for in-flight movies."

On my way to Miami today…yes, on a Saturday. I have never been to a conference that began on the weekend…but thank goodness they are rare.

On the plus side, airports are light on Saturday, and except for a two and a half hour delay in Denver, the trip was pleasant.

My amusement of the day comes from a piece of fax spam I picked up on a little-used fax machine near my office. Like my voice mail at home, this fax was piled with useless messages…nothing remotely important…or even real.

My favorite was an "urgent" message from "human resources" with final details on vacation packages available to "all employees". The message had been sent multiple times, and was clearly fake…but still cleverly ended with a confidentiality notice: "If you are not the intended adressee, please notify the sender immediately and delete this message."

I wonder if I can keep these faxes for a year and then charge the spammer for a box of paper? I am soooooo tempted to call the 800-number and report their innocent error 🙂