New for Spring…

Posted: April 13, 2006 at 9:13 am by John

The downside of my current “yes-iPod, no-magazine” travel habit is that during takeoff and landing, I’m forced to leaf through United’s materials. Well, SkyMall didn’t disappoint this time 🙂

I’ve figured out just why ‘Elena’ wants to visit me from Russia…she knows about the stuff in the in-flight SkyMall catalog. SkyMall is reinforcing the myth that wine (and vodka) flow freely in the streets. At least they do if you have a handy ‘Fire Water Fire Hydrant!’.

Or, need that discrete little nip while you’re golfing? How about the ‘Designated Driver’?

Or, if you just can’t be bothered by gimmicks and gadgets, just wear your booze. Try the fashionable ‘Booze Belt’.

I didn’t know that the average frequent flyer is an alcoholic…

…or a dog owner. Lots of doggy beds (and the aforementioned doggy stairs). But the ‘Doggy Murphy Bed’ wins best in show for this issue of SkyMall.

Oh yeah, the latest from ‘Elena’. Slow news day!

Sorry my dear. I could not write to you the letter because I was on business trip. My chief forced me and some more person to go in the next city. There it was necessary to help with registration of the order for our firm. I had no time to write to you. I am so sorry. I hope you you do not take offence at me. How are you? I hope to see from you the letter.

4 Comments for New for Spring…

bobgirrl

OMG, Felony Joyride bought me that fire hydrant for my birthday!

JamesF

So was the tagline for the booze belt “Coasters, we don’t need no stinkin’ coasters!” Because it looked like that’s where it was heading.

“I could not write to you the letter because I was on business trip”

Translation: I was off fleecing someone else.

BullBunky

Bobgirrl: you should certainly accessorize with the belt for when you are away from the hydrant 🙂

James: yes, it does sound like “I couldn’t call because I had a late dinner and an early meeting.”

CAPT_Sawyer

“I could not write to you the letter because I was on business trip”

Translation:

I was busy pretending to be a girl for the 243 other men I’m trying to get to send me their money, but really I’m an overweight, vodka-swilling, chain-smoking, male con-artist.